Dear St. John's College pt. 1

You are the most unnerving being I have ever met. I am finding it hard to contain my shock and keep my expression locked. This whole discussion is making me more than nervous. All the trivia I can throw out might as well go out into the desert behind me. I won't have the easy upper hand, no quick draw charisma can save me. A complete about face in my experience. My wit won't get me anywhere in this place and that is such a relief. The soft spoken students break ground here in such a satisfying manner. You got something to say you must speak directly to the text and nothing else. No trivia. No context. No one's scholarship is going to help you accelerate over the bumps that occur in the process of this journey. It's the most vulnerable moment I have ever witnessed in a classroom and it's totally killing me. I finally see how all that false acceleration makes us think we have arrived at a true accomplishment. So often the finish line is our only motive. But in calling it an acceleration we misname its effect. We jump past the precious stones that create a true evolution of thought and a more authentic understanding of each concept. My pulse is thudding hard against my neck. Already I'm swimming at the back of the pack. Whether I am up to it, I desire this.